Don’t let your ex read this!

I have a friend.   Let’s call her “Jane”.   Last night, I texted Jane and received a text back from her phone stating something along the lines of “Jane forgot her phone.  This is her ex.”

Shocked by the breach of privacy, I texted back with a message saying that I didn’t Jane would appreciate the ex reading her notes and replying to them!  The reply I got was an assurance it isn’t an issue because they’re close.

Ha!  Being close to someone doesn’t negate one’s responsibility to respect an individual’s privacy: my privacy and hers.  I have expectations that when I text someone, my message isn’t being seen by that person’s partner, husband or wife, sister, mother, brother or friend.  If the person ends up sharing my messages, that’s one thing.  But to actually not be able to refrain from looking at the messages on a phone that doesn’t belong to you just because the pretty little light is blinking is simply a clear indication that you’re a jerk.

Dear exes around the world: you do not own your former partner’s “anythings”.  You don’t own their phones, their laptops, their mail.  You have no right to read their messages even if your former partners don’t put up a fight about it.  Some people aren’t confident enough to assume their rights and it’s not right to infringe on them simply because you assume you still share that bond that you once had.

You see, Jane has a Blackberry that isn’t password protected.  I don’t know why but it seems like many of my female friends don’t password protect anything they own, whether it’s a mobile device or a computer.  Some of them still share their voicemail passwords with their exes and haven’t changed their banking PIN numbers.

I’ve had to listen to too many friends rant about how their boyfriends, husbands or exes broke into their email accounts and read or replied to their private messages.  Jealousy and curiosity can lead even the ‘nicest’ person to do the unimaginable.

I’ve had enough, haven’t you?

So ladies, here’s a piece of advice:

PASSWORD PROTECT EVERYTHING.

And if your stuff is password protected already, change the password today.  Change it to something that no one else will be able to guess.  How do you do it?  Here’s a trick: go to your cupboard or to the grocery store or to the park and take a mental note of the first thing you see and make sure you capitalize at least one letter:

Examples:  RitzCrackers, CanOfMushrooms, FrisbeeDogs, WeepingWillow

Now, add at least one number somewhere in there, like:

RitzCrackers1, CanOf4Mushrooms, 2FrisbeeDogs, 1WeepingWillow

Voila.  Oh, and don’t write it anywhere.  If you happen to share it with anyone, change it right away.

It’s a bit tougher on a mobile device because I think in most cases, it’s a pain to capitalize and you can’t enter a combination of letter and numbers.  So, I just recommend at the very least choosing a password like “frisbeedogs” that is so completely random and impersonal that no one will be able to guess it.

Here are the steps to password protect a Blackberry:

On the home screen, click into Options.  Scroll to “Security Options” and click it.
Scroll down to “General Settings” and click it.  Click the option for “Password” and choose “Enabled”.  Enter a password here.  Back in the General Settings screen, below Password – Enabled, there’s a few more options to check out:

“Number of Password Attempts”:  this will determine how many times you can try to enter your password before the Blackberry completely wipes itself.  Set this to “10″.

“Security Timeout”:  this will determine how much time in minutes can go by without the device becoming password protected if the Blackberry is left idle (so you’ll have to re-enter your password).  It’s a good idea not to set this too high… 5 minutes is reasonable.

Lastly, it’s not just mobile devices.  When I say password protect everything, that includes your home computer… especially if it’s a laptop.  Another tip: password protect your MSN/GoogleTalk/Yahoo Chat clients so that they all prompt you for a password when your computer starts up.

Note: if you’re using a personal Blackberry and you forget the password, in order to reset it, the device will have to wipe itself (you’ll lose your address book, tasks, memos, etc).  Make sure that you will remember the password and make regular backups of your Blackberry address book and other content just in case your new password slips your mind at some point.

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