I’ve been wanting to write again, but I’ve changed so much. What will I write about? It won’t be “that”. I’m exhausted with “that”. “Enough”, I said to myself. Enough.
What is “that”? It’s that noise that’s coming at us from all fronts. Especially since Trump got elected (not before, because most people didn’t believe it was possible). That incessant noise, the echoes, the shoulds and the shouldn’ts and the hate. The hate. The “we’s” and “they’s” and the “if’s” and the “never’s”. It’s their fault. It’s all their fault. Let’s get mad and make some noise.
What I know for certain is that I refuse to contribute to that noise. I refuse to blame “them” or “them” or “them”, even if maybe, just maybe, I think it’s all their fault. Because what I think might not be true. Because what I think might just be how I feel. And I don’t want to subject anyone to the side effects of my scorn. I watched Nanette by Hannah Gadsby recently. I’ve been thinking about it a lot because it’s influenced how I will write in the future.
“And I am angry, and I believe I’ve got every right to be angry! But what I don’t have a right to do is to spread anger. I don’t. Because anger, much like laughter, can connect a room full of strangers like nothing else. But anger, even if it’s connected to laughter, will not… relieve tension. Because anger is a tension. It is a toxic, infectious… tension.” (Hannah Gadsby)
What else is there to talk about? What else is there to make noise about? How about new ideas? How about the things we make with our hands? How about the wonders of Space? How about our strengths? Why do we need to create more trauma with trauma? I don’t get it anymore. Enough.
And it’s not escapism. To refuse to propagate anger doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Or that there isn’t injustice. It doesn’t mean total silence on the things that hurt or the things that challenge us. It means flipping it around on its head. We say “enough” and we work towards betterment. We say “stop”, and we mean “stop”. Stop, enough, not gonna take it anymore. Let’s show them how it’s done. And for all practical purposes, usually, ‘how it’s done’ is done in person. In our communities, using our own personal time, and from a deep desire for change. It means resisting the urge to get even. It means personal growth, too. It means doing something that isn’t comfortable because not doing it means more of “that”.
I had two molars extracted recently. I’ve been photographing the healing progress every day. I’m amazed. Our bodies are beautiful. We are hard-wired for healing. It’s possible. But it’s only possible through care, not by poking at it constantly or by pulling the teeth out of other mouths.
So, I will write about subjects that interest me: health, science, the arts, creativity, imagination, potential and beauty. I will make things with my hands and show you what I’ve made. I will talk to experts in various fields. I will give away books. I’m bringing back the parts that made my old blog magical. But, I’m omitting the parts of it that made me tired and weary and excitable for no reason other than to be angry and self-righteous. Because, I’ve had enough.
I’m glad you’re back into the world of blogging; I miss the days when people told the stories of their lives in spaces like this. There’s something about a personal blog that feels more authoritative and open than a post on social media.
Thank you, Ben, and sorry I didn’t see your comment until now – it got stuck in some approval process that I was oblivious to! It’s funny because I’ve become so accustomed to being open on social media posts that it now feels a bit more isolated to write on an actual blog. Like anything, I’ll get used to it again. 🙂